Testimonials
NHS Perinatal Mental Heath Team
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Jeanette Evans is a member of the NHS Perinatal Mental Health Team for South East Essex (formally PEWS). We are fortunate to have a fantastic relationship with Jeanette and the rest of the team and are so grateful to have had their support since the beginning. A member of their team supports our session covering the importance of perinatal emotional health, the various symptoms and experiences some mothers can face and how a team such as theirs can assist those in need of additional support. The key message in these sessions is emotional health and well-being and providing access to extra support if required in a gentle and non obtrusive way.
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Chrystal
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Chrystal is brilliant mum to four children and a proud graduate of our Mum's & Families UK programme. We are lucky to have Chrystal's ongoing support which provides a testament to our work and how it is helping mums and families across Essex. In this short video she talks about the programme and how this assisted in her recovery.
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Below is a selection of testimonials sent to us by graduate mums who have completed our FREE Peer Support Programme. Click on the quotes for the full unedited script - some are quite lengthy so you may benefit from rotating the screen when viewing on a mobile device.
“If it had just been a PND group, I probably wouldn't have gone”
Recently, I have suffered emotional distress due to a breakdown in the relationship between my family. I was asked if I wanted to move in with them following the discovery that my partner and I were expecting our first baby. Unfortunately, problems surfaced and for the past 6 months, things have been rocky. I felt down, upset, angry, anxious and just generally emotionally broken. I attended many baby groups at my local Children's Centre with my son, not just for his interaction and socialisation but also for me to escape my house. Upon speaking to my key worker, she referred me to the Mums and Families Programme that supported mums and families who were feeling down or upset or emotionally detached. I went along, a bit dubious as I didn't want to accept that what I was suffering with could be post natal depression.
However, after meeting Claire and the other mums, it became clear to me that I wasn't the only one. I wasn't unreasonable and that it was okay for me to feel how I was feeling. I began to open up about a lot of things I've never discussed with anyone other than my partner. Not only was my story listened to, but I also heard other mum's stories and I was able to relate to them. Over the weeks, I began to learn that I need to take steps to get me over this and Claire gave me many pointers on how I could deal with these issues on a day to day basis. She even helped me look at it from a different perspective to help with communication. The guilt I felt as a mum disappeared over the weeks; I started to see that what I was doing for my son is perfectly natural and the anxiety I felt was normal.
The environment I was in was warm and welcoming; it was confidential and I knew that I had a support platform. I also felt that my confidence and social skills improved by listening and speaking with other mums who went through it. I've been provided with the tools to enable me to cope and now, just weeks after I started the programme, I've now taken positive steps forward; me and my family are moving into our own little home and my priority is them and I don't feel guilty.
I thoroughly enjoyed the programme and I'm so happy that it's being developed to help other families. If it had just been a PND group, I probably wouldn't have gone and I would have suffered in silence, but because it addressed the natural emotions of becoming a mum, it opened it up to me and I've learnt a lot about myself.
However, after meeting Claire and the other mums, it became clear to me that I wasn't the only one. I wasn't unreasonable and that it was okay for me to feel how I was feeling. I began to open up about a lot of things I've never discussed with anyone other than my partner. Not only was my story listened to, but I also heard other mum's stories and I was able to relate to them. Over the weeks, I began to learn that I need to take steps to get me over this and Claire gave me many pointers on how I could deal with these issues on a day to day basis. She even helped me look at it from a different perspective to help with communication. The guilt I felt as a mum disappeared over the weeks; I started to see that what I was doing for my son is perfectly natural and the anxiety I felt was normal.
The environment I was in was warm and welcoming; it was confidential and I knew that I had a support platform. I also felt that my confidence and social skills improved by listening and speaking with other mums who went through it. I've been provided with the tools to enable me to cope and now, just weeks after I started the programme, I've now taken positive steps forward; me and my family are moving into our own little home and my priority is them and I don't feel guilty.
I thoroughly enjoyed the programme and I'm so happy that it's being developed to help other families. If it had just been a PND group, I probably wouldn't have gone and I would have suffered in silence, but because it addressed the natural emotions of becoming a mum, it opened it up to me and I've learnt a lot about myself.
“Knowing that so many other women have been and are going through something similar made me feel a million times better”
Hope your well and no doubt busy with another group. I wanted to text you anyway to say another huge thank you for your support during the 5 wks. It was so refreshing to meet someone who 'gets it' but that also was so down to earth. You really did make me feel normal again which really helped with my worries. Knowing that so many other women have been and are going through something similar made me feel a million times better. I now feel like I want to tell every mum I meet that it's ok to admit to feel rubbish (really rubbish!) Sometimes and that we can get through it but it's sooo important to be honest and talk to each other.
You will be pleased to know that im still feeling ok since the group. Obviously I have my down days but things have definitely improved. Talking more honestly with my husband has been a huge help.
Thanks so much again.
You will be pleased to know that im still feeling ok since the group. Obviously I have my down days but things have definitely improved. Talking more honestly with my husband has been a huge help.
Thanks so much again.
“Claire's passion to help other mums is really inspiring and I could not recommend the group enough”
Claire is a lovely supportive and honest mum doing an amazing thing for the mums in Rochford and surrounding areas.
When I saw the advert for Mums and Families it rang true to how I was feeling at the time when my baby was around 7 months old, overwhelmed with sleep deprivation and feeling alone that I was the only person going through it and it made me feel a failure and very low I thought I would give the group a try.
After completing M&F I found a lovely bunch of like minded mums, and a whole new perspective that allowed me to be a lot kinder to myself, Claire's passion to help other mums is really inspiring and I could not recommend the group enough if you're feeling the strain of motherhood, with talks from outside speakers and little added surprises made the group a real pleasure to go back to each week.
When I saw the advert for Mums and Families it rang true to how I was feeling at the time when my baby was around 7 months old, overwhelmed with sleep deprivation and feeling alone that I was the only person going through it and it made me feel a failure and very low I thought I would give the group a try.
After completing M&F I found a lovely bunch of like minded mums, and a whole new perspective that allowed me to be a lot kinder to myself, Claire's passion to help other mums is really inspiring and I could not recommend the group enough if you're feeling the strain of motherhood, with talks from outside speakers and little added surprises made the group a real pleasure to go back to each week.
“Without this group I probably wouldn't be as well today”
I came across the group when it was advertised on a Facebook page (8 out of 10 mums) and contacted Claire directly as I had been struggling with ante natal depression in this my second pregnancy. I was becoming anxious, had low self esteem, feeling paranoid as well as other issues that went along with it. I knew that I needed help but I was unsure on where to turn, I didn't want to take tablets as I was unsure of the effects it could have on me and my unborn child and shutting myself away from
Everyone and everything wasn't working. So I took the step to contact Claire and her team to see if it would help.
I attended as many sessions as I could, there wasn't any local groups like this about so I had to travel outside my local area. When I first attended I was really nervous, have i got to tell my story to someone? Will they think I'm weird, crazy even? Will it be awkward? All these questions going through my head but in actual fact I was fine. There was no obligation to tell your story, to speak out and I didn't feel pressurised to give my opinion or talk if I didn't want to. I felt at complete ease and I was so happy to know that actually I wasn't crazy/weird there were people that were in the same situation. It also made me realise that although I hadn't really noticed after the birth of my first child I may have suffered but never looked for help. There were different subjects each week to focus on and discuss which I found helpful, for instance one week would be relationships with loved ones the next week would be something like finding time for yourself. I think the main thing that I got out of the group was that I didn't feel alone, even though you feel it at the time once you start talking to people you can relate and understand and empathise. Without this group I probably wouldn't be as well today, no it's not a cure but it's a step forward and in the right direction to feeling better about pregnancy, birth and life with small people.
I would love for this sort of group to be available in most towns, I think PND and other pregnancy related problems aren't talked about enough and there aren't enough groups like this about. I'm really grateful that this group was available and I could attend.
Everyone and everything wasn't working. So I took the step to contact Claire and her team to see if it would help.
I attended as many sessions as I could, there wasn't any local groups like this about so I had to travel outside my local area. When I first attended I was really nervous, have i got to tell my story to someone? Will they think I'm weird, crazy even? Will it be awkward? All these questions going through my head but in actual fact I was fine. There was no obligation to tell your story, to speak out and I didn't feel pressurised to give my opinion or talk if I didn't want to. I felt at complete ease and I was so happy to know that actually I wasn't crazy/weird there were people that were in the same situation. It also made me realise that although I hadn't really noticed after the birth of my first child I may have suffered but never looked for help. There were different subjects each week to focus on and discuss which I found helpful, for instance one week would be relationships with loved ones the next week would be something like finding time for yourself. I think the main thing that I got out of the group was that I didn't feel alone, even though you feel it at the time once you start talking to people you can relate and understand and empathise. Without this group I probably wouldn't be as well today, no it's not a cure but it's a step forward and in the right direction to feeling better about pregnancy, birth and life with small people.
I would love for this sort of group to be available in most towns, I think PND and other pregnancy related problems aren't talked about enough and there aren't enough groups like this about. I'm really grateful that this group was available and I could attend.
“Talking is definitely the best therapy!”
I'm a first time mum of a beautiful baby girl who doesn't sleep very well. We didn't have the easiest of starts, lots of feeding and health issues and not a lot of support close by. Too little sleep and a tendency to try and get on with things left me feeling a bit lost and worried about admitting how difficult I was finding it all. I spent most days in a fuzzy headed state desperately trying to be ok. Then I met Claire. I'll always be grateful for that day back in November 2015. Claire listened to me with care, understanding and good humor without any judgement. She got 'where I was at' and I finally felt able to open up and talk. As simple as that sounds it meant so much and started the process of me feeling better. Sometimes it's hard being a mum and saying it out loud doesn't make you a bad one. Thank you for everything Claire. Talking is definitely the best therapy!
“I found it really comforting that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did”
I discovered Mums & Families after a tough few weeks around Christmas feeling desperately low, I finally admitted things were not good and I needed some support. My daughter was 9 months old and the feelings hit me very suddenly - I think life as a first time mum was too busy up to that point to actually consider how I was feeling - and once I gave it some thought I realised it was not good. Coincidentally, I saw an advert on Facebook and knew I fitted the description of feeling low in my mood, very tired and generally overwhelmed at being a mum. I contacted Claire at Mums and Families and enrolled on the 5 week course. I was nervous initially but soon after arriving at my first group session I saw that the other mums were all really lovely and Claire was approachable and kind. Our children played together and we were able to talk and listen to one another each week. I found the program really helpful as an opportunity to take time to reflect on my journey into motherhood - although my labour was all quite straight forward, no one had really asked how I was in myself, or given me an opportunity to think about how much my identity had changed through becoming a mum. We laughed, cried, reflected and chatted altogether and our group were all very understanding and respectful of one another, I found it really comforting that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did. So often mums put on brave faces and hide what they are feeling inside, but I've learnt that no one can pour from an empty cup - we have a duty to take care of ourselves so we are in the best place possible to give back out for our little ones.
“I didn’t think this would be for me but I am so glad that I chose to attend”
I have two beautiful little girls 28 months and 7 months. Both pregnancies were pretty awful I was constantly ill both girls by c-section. Unfortunately I had spinal headache after my youngest was born (7 month old) I was left to deal with this for seven weeks it was the worst time of my life looking after two babies under 2 in constant pain I was up and down the hospital constantly it was hell!
The Post Natal Depression hit me hard I felt like I was rejecting my baby girls all I kept telling myself was how much of a bad mum I was and I was a failure! There were times I could of walked out the front door and never return. My first daughter was by IVF so I kept telling myself the reason I couldn’t have children is because I would be a failure as a mum so I should never of had IVF when I think back the thoughts that would go through my head were horrendous.
I arrived at the group thinking I was wasting my time how can anyone help I already had amazing support from my family and friends so why go and talk to complete strangers?
I was an emotional mess all I did was cry but sitting in that room openly talking about my life and how much I was struggling was exactly what I needed, I was talking with ladies just like me who understood what I was going through who had the same horrible thoughts, who some days couldn’t get out the front door because life was so hard just like me.
Family and friends didn’t understand why I would burst into tears over nothing at all I would be having a conversation with someone and mid sentence I would just cry. The group made me realise that there is no such thing as the perfect mum we all have our bad days and now I have good days, they told me to take 1 hour at a time but now I can take one day at a time it does get easier but my turning point was talking to the other mums and knowing I wasn’t the only one going through this I WASN’T ALONE!!!!
Anyone who is feeling low should have the opportunity to attend these groups a massive weight was taken off my shoulders by attending this group I cannot thank them enough for giving me a bit of strength to carry on and helping me to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn’t think this would be for me but I am so glad that I chose to attend the support and understanding I received was amazing thank you for everything you do.
The Post Natal Depression hit me hard I felt like I was rejecting my baby girls all I kept telling myself was how much of a bad mum I was and I was a failure! There were times I could of walked out the front door and never return. My first daughter was by IVF so I kept telling myself the reason I couldn’t have children is because I would be a failure as a mum so I should never of had IVF when I think back the thoughts that would go through my head were horrendous.
I arrived at the group thinking I was wasting my time how can anyone help I already had amazing support from my family and friends so why go and talk to complete strangers?
I was an emotional mess all I did was cry but sitting in that room openly talking about my life and how much I was struggling was exactly what I needed, I was talking with ladies just like me who understood what I was going through who had the same horrible thoughts, who some days couldn’t get out the front door because life was so hard just like me.
Family and friends didn’t understand why I would burst into tears over nothing at all I would be having a conversation with someone and mid sentence I would just cry. The group made me realise that there is no such thing as the perfect mum we all have our bad days and now I have good days, they told me to take 1 hour at a time but now I can take one day at a time it does get easier but my turning point was talking to the other mums and knowing I wasn’t the only one going through this I WASN’T ALONE!!!!
Anyone who is feeling low should have the opportunity to attend these groups a massive weight was taken off my shoulders by attending this group I cannot thank them enough for giving me a bit of strength to carry on and helping me to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn’t think this would be for me but I am so glad that I chose to attend the support and understanding I received was amazing thank you for everything you do.
“When I completed the course I felt a lot more positive”
I had my daughter in August 2014. I started suffering from Post Natal Depression about 4 weeks after her birth. The Health Visitor and doctor recommended I attend the CBT course. I asked if there were any courses specific to post natal depression and at the time there wasn’t. I attend the CBT course and had private counselling. To be honest I didn’t find the CBT course or counselling really that helpful as I needed something that dealt directly with PND.
Within time my PND got better but then a year later it came back with a bang. I contacted my HV and asked if PEWS would be able to see me but because my daughter was over a year old they wouldn’t see me. I felt completely alone as none of my family or friends knew how or what I was feeling. They were there to support me but I wanted someone to talk to who knew how I felt.
I decided to do some research on Netmums.com and found the Mums and Families support group. I emailed Claire and she immediately contacted me to give me more information and offer support. We decided to meet the next week. By then I was feeling a little better, we met up and had a chat. It was lovely speaking to someone who knew exactly how I was feeling and understood my thoughts.
Unfortunately my PND then came back again, I went to a wellbeing event and Claire was there on a stand. As soon as I saw her I just burst into tears, she took me aside and cuddled me tightly, as if to say I know how you feel and it will be ok. She then told me about this 5 week course she would be running and it was going to be on a Monday. I really wanted to attend the course but as I work Mon, Tues and Wed I couldn’t attend.
I decided to speak to my work about my depression as I honestly thought the course would really benefit me. They were very understanding and wanted to help me in anyway they could. Upon my request they referred me to occupational health. When I had my assessment the doctor recommended I attend the course. I immediately contacted Claire and asked her if I could be placed on the next course.
When the course started I was a bit apprehensive but it was so good talking to other ladies who felt the same as me. I got alot more help and information from this group than I did from the doctors or HV. When I completed the course I felt alot more positive and knowing Claire will always be there for me really comforts me.
If I hadn’t have done the research myself I would never of met Claire or be given the opportunity to attend the PND course. I am truly thankful to Claire in all that she does, she has helped so many people, what she has done is amazing!
Within time my PND got better but then a year later it came back with a bang. I contacted my HV and asked if PEWS would be able to see me but because my daughter was over a year old they wouldn’t see me. I felt completely alone as none of my family or friends knew how or what I was feeling. They were there to support me but I wanted someone to talk to who knew how I felt.
I decided to do some research on Netmums.com and found the Mums and Families support group. I emailed Claire and she immediately contacted me to give me more information and offer support. We decided to meet the next week. By then I was feeling a little better, we met up and had a chat. It was lovely speaking to someone who knew exactly how I was feeling and understood my thoughts.
Unfortunately my PND then came back again, I went to a wellbeing event and Claire was there on a stand. As soon as I saw her I just burst into tears, she took me aside and cuddled me tightly, as if to say I know how you feel and it will be ok. She then told me about this 5 week course she would be running and it was going to be on a Monday. I really wanted to attend the course but as I work Mon, Tues and Wed I couldn’t attend.
I decided to speak to my work about my depression as I honestly thought the course would really benefit me. They were very understanding and wanted to help me in anyway they could. Upon my request they referred me to occupational health. When I had my assessment the doctor recommended I attend the course. I immediately contacted Claire and asked her if I could be placed on the next course.
When the course started I was a bit apprehensive but it was so good talking to other ladies who felt the same as me. I got alot more help and information from this group than I did from the doctors or HV. When I completed the course I felt alot more positive and knowing Claire will always be there for me really comforts me.
If I hadn’t have done the research myself I would never of met Claire or be given the opportunity to attend the PND course. I am truly thankful to Claire in all that she does, she has helped so many people, what she has done is amazing!
