Our People
Claire Hawtree
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I'm Claire and am the founder of Mums & Families (UK). My daughter Isla Rose was born in June 2014 and for a while it was the happiest time of my life. By the time Isla was 4 months old, I had spiralled downwards and unbeknownst to me at that point was suffering with serious perinatal mental health problems. I began to experience crippling and piercing anxiety, feeling depressed and frightened to be on my own with my daughter in case something terrible happened. I was experiencing postnatal depression, postnatal anxiety and intrusive thoughts (symptomatic of Maternal OCD). The thoughts I was experiencing were very distressing and were thoughts, surrounding the safety and wellbeing of me and my daughter. I knew something was seriously wrong, but was terrified that if I spoke to my GP or my health visitor that they would take my little girl away from me. So, I sought some help via a 'private' channel - I found a private hypnotherapist/psychotherapist who sadly was not as qualified or as well equipped to deal with my problems as I was led to believe. (ALWAYS do your research if seeking help privately - there are some amazing private professionals out there but there are also some charlatans!)
During my time with this particular 'therapist' I was told that I had nothing to worry about, that they had seen plenty of women in my situation and if they were worried they would have to report it - but they weren't concerned - or so they told me. A few hours later, I had every new mum's worst nightmare happen - social services were on my doorstep telling me they needed to speak to me based on a report they had received from my 'therapist'. Everything unravelled in slow motion. I was told that I was considered 'high risk' and that I was not allowed to be on my own with my daughter until I had been assessed by a mental health crisis team. I felt powerless and felt like everything I had feared was going to come true - my beautiful darling girl was going to be taken away from me, however - THIS DID NOT HAPPEN! Social care were incredibly supportive and made me realise that they were not there to take Isla, but instead to make sure I had the necessary support available to be able to care for me and my daughter. Within 24 hours social care realised very quickly that I was not a threat to my daughter but I did pose a significant threat to myself. They told me that whilst they needed to complete their report, that they didn't need any further involvement in my case and that I no longer needed to be supervised when with my daughter. Sadly, for me mentally, so much damage had been done as my trust had been broken so severely and I became suicidal. I was assigned to the local Perinatal Emotional and Wellbeing Service (PEWS) who worked with me over the next couple of months, they provided me with one to one support in my home, helping me get my confidence back and helping me to realise that I was unwell - what I was experiencing was not my fault and that it was an illness not a choice and that I would get better. AND I DID! I had fantastic professional help from the right people and in hindsight wish I had spoken to my health visitor in the first place, but I believe everything happens for a reason. PEWS are an amazing service and Mums & Families (UK) are very lucky to have their support, often joining us in one of our sessions to talk about the work they do and what they can do to help. Whilst I was unwell, I searched for perinatal peer support, to talk to other mums who were going through what I was and I couldn't find anything in Essex. So once I made a FULL recovery - Mums & Families (UK) was born. My biggest fear when I was ill, and a fear that is shared by so many mums who experience PND is that they are a bad mum and that if they seek help, their baby will be taken away from them. It is hard to make that first step to get help and whilst it was traumatic at the time, I did get the help I needed, and had I not, I know I would not be here today. It is not easy to be open and honest about my experience and for a long time I felt ashamed but I don't any more. I hope that my story can help mums to take that first step to getting help, and here at Mums & Families (UK) we pride ourselves in helping to provide those stepping stones for you in a gentle and unobtrusive way. Working with you as a mum and providing any support necessary to your family to help you to all get through it signposting you to other services if appropriate. Perinatal mental health affects the whole family - there is an old African proverb that says "it takes a village to raise a child" we try to provide you with that village using your family as the cornerstone. Finally, my message to any mum going through their struggle is if I can survive this, then you definitely can! Keep fighting, take it a day at a time and if that’s too much, take it hour by hour. Claire xx |
Heather Collins
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Hi! I'm Heather, wife to Mike and 'Mama' to my daughter, Freya. In my 'previous life' I was a youth worker at a local Baptist Church, I now do some part time youth support work with teenage girls and I'm also a Maths Tutor (and a full time mummy of course!)
I came across Mums & Families (UK) when my little girl was 9 months old, I contacted Claire after seeing an ad on Facebook and recognising myself in the description - tired, anxious and overwhelmed. I then completed the very first 5 week program at the start of 2016. I can't begin to explain how helpful it was to be able to shift my focus and have some 'me time' again! I found the sessions every week invaluable and really appreciated, and looked forward to, some time to process my new identity as Freya's mum. As soon as the course had finished, I contacted Claire again to find out how I could help, I knew I wanted to be involved with Mums & Families (UK) - other mums HAD to hear about this! Since becoming a mum I have a real passion to help other new mums find their feet, and a desire to ensure that they give themselves, and their mental health, due care and attention as well as looking after their baby. I formally joined Mums & Families (UK) in April 2016 and signed with the very first trustees in December 2016. I'm incredibly proud to be working for such a life changing organisation and I'm excited to see how the project grows so we can reach more mums & families and play our part in empowering them to be the very best they can be. |
Peter Hawtree
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I’m Pete, Claire’s husband and Isla’s Daddy. I work in London as a Software Consultant whilst also supporting Claire and the team to grow and develop the vision for Mums & Families (UK). What Claire has done in such a short space of time is amazing and it’s exciting to be part of something that is making a genuine difference to people’s lives!
Being a parent for the first time is exciting and also scary at times but I thought that we had hit the ground running even before Isla arrived. We were all set up and I even read a couple of Dad books/blogs to ready myself as much as possible. Once Isla eventually landed a whole world of feelings and emotions followed and it definitely wasn’t plain sailing but she fed and slept well. Things changed for us pretty rapidly when Claire began to become quite anxious, suffering from intrusive thoughts which escalated in severity to the point that she decided to seek help from a counsellor/psychotherapist. Before I knew it, I had Claire on the other end of the phone while I was on the train home from work one evening saying that they were going to take Isla – they being Social Services. I almost broke the land speed record cycling home from the station with visions in my head the whole way of a scene like something from a soap with Isla being carried away and everyone crying. Fortunately like most things in life, they are rarely like what you see on TV. It was definitely upsetting for everyone but the lady from Social Services was quick to reassure us that taking a child away from its mother is the last thing they want to do and is actually very rare. As a husband, it’s terribly distressing to watch the person you love go through such torment at what is typically perceived to be the most happy and precious time of your life. Luckily for us, Claire was provided with professional support from the likes of PEWS quite early on which was some comfort during a very rough period. Unfortunately there are still some Mum’s out there that are not so fortunate and may feel forgotten and hard done by, something that we hope to change for as many as possible. There’s no quick fix to the kinds of perinatal mental health issues Claire has had to endure and they can affect anyone despite how good you or others around may think you have it. It’s been a long process, stressful and definitely exhausting at times but it does get better. The best possible cure is prevention – by increasing awareness and talking through issues in a non-judgemental environment I hope that fewer families will find themselves in such sad and unfortunate circumstances. The team consistently work on improving and developing the programme we deliver on a weekly basis, and are working on expansion plans to roll out the programme across Essex and the UK. By drawing on the experiences of those close to the organisation and from myself, we continue to work on developing innovative new ways to ensure that we help as many of those affected as possible. |
Sally Claydon
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Here goes...
I had my children in the late '90s and I so wish there had been a group like 'Mums & Families' back then! The world has changed a lot in just 20 years - I didn't even have a mobile phone, let alone the internet and with family and friends all working full time, motherhood could be a lonely place. I lived for the days when I could go to a toddler group or meet up with my postnatal group. But even in those groups postnatal depression wasn't talked about. I don't think I was the only one suffering from it, but we all put on our happy masks and enjoyed the time together before returning to our homes feeling as bad as ever. My children are young adults now but mental ill-health has been something I have battled with all along, mostly taking the form of the dreaded pre-menstrual syndrome. Thankfully society is becoming so much more aware and we are more able to talk about how we are doing mentally as well as physically. When I first saw Mums & Families (UK) advertised I got in touch with Claire straight away to offer any help that I could. I think she is amazing in that she has drawn upon all that she learnt through her awful experience and is now using that knowledge and empathy to help others. I'm a community worker at Hawkwell Baptist Church where I run a drop in group for people with mental health issues. I also volunteer in our local Girls' Brigade group so I've got lots of experience of helping young families with parenting issues. It's nice now to be able to help mums at a very key stage in their lives. I believe the support that Mums & Families (UK) offer can be life changing. |
Esther Taylor
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Hey, I’m Esther- I’m wife to Will & Mum to my two gorgeous girls Millie & Bella. They are aged 10 and 8. When Will & I decided the time had come to start trying for a family we soon discovered it wasn’t going to be that simple! I had polycystic ovaries and found that just falling pregnant wasn’t a given. I then had to have surgery, following which I fell pregnant- however our dreams were then shattered when I miscarried. After 2 and a half years we found I was pregnant with Millie. Looking back I think I probably did have postnatal depression- but I kept myself so busy that I didn’t really even have the time to acknowledge it. When Millie was 3 months old I set up a baby group through the church we attended and within 6 months was running 3 groups a week as there was such a need for it. 18 months after Millie was born we decided to start trying for baby number two- we didn’t want to leave it too long in case it took as long again for me to fall pregnant. However my body had obviously got the hang of it as I fell straight away! Unfortunately though I lost this one and had to go through the heartache of miscarriage once more. We were then blessed six months later to find I was pregnant with Bella. I have had the luxury of not working until both girls went to school. I then set up a charity with my husband called LOSSuk, which we very successfully ran for 5 years. This was a huge learning curve in the way a charity is run, the processes that need to be in place for funding etc. I have had fundraising experience through the charity we ran but also working for a charity in London as an Events Manager. I now work part time for a local Baptist church as the Office Manager. I met Claire through Sally and when I heard what she was doing I wanted to be a part of it! I don’t think there is enough support for mums and there is an ever-increasing pressure on us to be the ‘perfect’ mum. I hope to be able to provide input on the charity side of things but also to generally support & encourage the amazing work that is taking place.
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