Today I am feeling very anxious. When my anxiety feels like its creeping back in, I start to have a little internal freak out that I am going backwards – I’m not, it’s just that I am relating those bubbles of anxiety to a very sad and traumatic time.
When something ‘bad’ happens, even if it has been dealt with, there are still the memories and emotions that run deep, in the same way when something good and amazing happens.
When I smell the perfume I wore on my wedding day, all those wonderful memories and emotions come flooding back – it’s the same with not so good memories. When I feel that little pang of anxiety bubbling just under my ribcage making it difficult to catch my breath - I associate it with probably what was the worst time of my life. So I have two ways of looking at it/approaching it:
OR I COULD:.........
2. LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE: I have a BIG presentation on Tuesday, something me and Heather have been working so hard on, months of hard work, preparation, and life changing work with one final shot to convince 10 judges to make us the winners of the #familiesincluded challenge prize.
So why am I feeling anxious – number 2! Of course this is why I am feeling anxious! The weird thing is, the minute I can evidence how and why I am feeling the way I am, I can see it from a different perspective and am able to sit with the discomfort until it passes.When I received my specialist counselling 2 years ago, I was told to LOOK FOR THE EVIDENCE! This is something I tell to the mums and families we work with; all mums/families (everyone!) have good and bad days and hard days regardless of whether they suffer with any kind of emotional well-being issue. Some days are harder than others, but it was like that before children – LOOK FOR THE EVIDENCE.
So, today, yes I feel anxious and even a little bit panicky – but it’s all because on Tuesday I am going to be presenting with Heather to a panel of 10 judges with the hope of winning the challenge prize - because if we do - everything we have been planning and dreaming of with regards to expansion and helping more families will come true!
Keep your fingers crossed for us, keep us in your prayers and who knows – maybe on 8th February (results day!) we’ll be able to say “we are Mums & Families UK - winners of the first families included challenge prize!” and then the real journey begins!